Almost half of marriages end in divorce. The percentage of children born to single mothers is high. 

Yet I believe in marriage. I believe that not all marriages are bad. I believe two people who know how to make good choices can be happier and better off together than alone.

In the 21^st century, marriage and coupledom are often sold to the masses by those who lament the family unit’s breakdown. But I cannot remember a time when anyone ever encouraged me to marry, except perhaps my father, but it was always in the form of a question rather than an order. 

Over time I formed my own view on marriage, and it is surprisingly traditional. First a person has to find someone with a similar background they get along with; not such an easy task. Then they can get married, and then have children if they so choose. Nowadays people often have a child first. I was born before my parents’ marriage. So were my brother’s children. But I refused to brush off the marriage-first approach like so many others. Bringing it up in conversation can be a bad idea; a lot of people start to twitch and moan. They think marriage is an obsolete institution. A number of people have, for good reason I am sure, a negative view on the subject. I even know a happily married couple who say the only reason they got married was for their families and they don’t really buy into the idea. Like them, I have also witnessed or experienced my share of bad relationships. People are not wrong to question the institution. But other people’s hang-ups about marriage are not my own.

The problems people have regarding marriage are mistakenly placed on the institution rather than on the people who choose to enter into a marriage without due consideration, knowledge, or understanding. These people are sort of like atheists, and I much prefer agnostics to atheists. After all, certainties in life are few and far between. 

Despite all the difficulties, some marriages last. There are good ones, bad ones, mad ones, and even madder ones. Take my parents, for example. They’ve been married twice! I consider theirs a good one. Other couples shout all day long, but they stay together. Mad ones! Others beat each other up, like a couple I know who live down the road. Even madder!

What I admire is seeing people who have been together for many decades who still like the look of each other, who still spend time together and have a good time. But the most touching of all is when you see an older couple walking down the street hand in hand. Just a few weeks ago I was walking through the park with my fiancé; he had proposed to me that morning. We were walking behind an older couple holding hands. They must have been almost 80. They made me think of the wonderful future we might have. At that moment I hoped that we would walk again through the park forty years from now still holding hands like them. 

I’m sure it will not always be easy, but I know it can be done and I refuse to let other people’s neurosis about marriage dissuade me. It wasn’t always easy being single, but I waited to find just the right one even when most of my friends were married long before me. All I can tell the single girls out there is not to worry. It will happen eventually.

This Christmas I offer a special wish for good companionship for the singletons and a long, healthy, and happy life for all the couples out there, young and old. I am happy to finally be among you.